Wife: Don’t make fun of me but, seriously, is something wrong with cee-lo? HIs hands looks short like a dwarfs but I dont’ think he is one. He really freaks me out.
Me: Babe, I just wanted to say that you are the love of my life and I’m lucky to be with you.
Wife’s response: Hey, did you know Groupon is offering a deal with the dry cleaners down the street? I’m buying 2!!!!
Me: I would have a car payment each month when I could be putting that money away for a house or a kid.
Wife’s response: I would never let our child in your filthy car. Don’t test me on this. When I’m 8 months pregnant, you will lose this argument. You will lose this argument everytime. Lose now or then. You’re choice.
– – –
Me:Could you make a list of everything I do wrong around the house?
Wife’s reponse: Sure! I need to walk in the house in every room so it all hits me and I will have no problem with the list!